Help me.

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I thought I had friends. So many of them. When I really need someone to lean onto, I am only left with a shadow of my own. I searched for support, I searched for love. But there wasn’t anyone beside me. I was wrong. I was so wrong. Has everything just been illusions? Was nothing real? Now I’m shut out from this world, unable to understand myself. What is wrong with me? don’t have any answers to that. I’m dying in my own thoughts. I am lost in this uncertainty. I don’t know who I really am. I don’t even know what is happening anymore. There are times when I just want to shout out for help, for someone to realize that I’m drowning deep down to the darkness. I’m grasping for hope. I kept trying to find a string that I can grasp on to dearly without losing a hold. I feel like walking on the thin edge of the world. Any step that I mistook on this ridged path will make me stumble deeper until I can’t be helped. Someone save me now.

Love…

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Whenever I hear a guy say…”she’s too wild, too much, too hard to figure out, too complicated, too intense, too emotional, too opinionated, or crazy”…I hear…”I’d a burned her ass at the stake back in Salem. She is too connected to the Goddess. I won’t be able to tame her. I won’t understand her. I won’t be able to keep her. She won’t need me. She is too powerful and won’t love the wounded parts of me.”

Au contraire, she will see the parts of you that you’re afraid of and love them anyway. A women unleashed will love you without every needing to change you. She will connect to you on a primal level, needing your body, succumbing to her inner fire, her passion and will rock your world. As a lover, she’ll not just make love to your body or heart, but to your soul. You will wonder how you ever called it living before you met her. She will piss you off and when you fight, it will suck. When you make up, you will realize you felt like you were dying as you thought of life without her, but she’s taught you of your strength and how your vulnerability makes you brave. She makes you realize you could survive anything, even losing her, because she taught you to believe in yourself. She will demand more of you and you will be glad she knew you had it in you all along. She will fiercely love you and teach you, nurture you and reach you, which at times make you uncomfortable. She will love the scared, little boy inside that you are afraid exists and acknowledging him makes you feel like the old you died, the one that lived a lie, that BS guy. That part of you that feels not good enough will come up to heal and she will see through your façade. She’ll push your buttons and make you reach for more within yourself. She will make you ask yourself questions, making you grow, and know way more you thought was even possible. She will challenge you and never will she be boring. She will excite you and infuriate you with her boldness, that she allows herself to just be all of herself, and not parts. Her tears will scare you and you will want to fix her, her problems, and the world. She will reassure you that this is one way she expresses herself and that it doesn’t mean weakness, that you can cry when you are angry, happy, sad, and for no reason at all. That tears are like an elixir for the soul, a catalyst for letting go, a signal of a change in energy. It will be a wild ride, an adventure that takes you to the edge of yourself.

Love a wild one. Let her bewitch you, entrance you, bedazzle you, seduce you, mesmerize you, enchant you, and let her free you..

~ Jenny G. Perry